I know that it’s very difficult for people who’ve never had a migraine to understand how debilitating migraines can be. Migraines are neurological. They cannot be thought away with positive affirmations or daily gratitude journaling. They can be somewhat managed with dietary changes and exercise, and some people have had luck with migraine medications.
Migraines aren’t just about head pain, although there’s certainly that. Massive pain. Nails through the brain. A train collision into the head at 90 miles an hour. The barf fest that goes with that head pain. Bring a bucket, please.
There are symptoms and side effects that can occur before, during, and after the migraine head pain (all of that is considered part of a migraine).
I’ll try explaining some of my least favorite and least controllable symptoms and side effects.
Allodynia
Simple things that don’t bother most people cause me pain. For example, if I’m having a severe migraine, the tightness of a turtleneck sweater around my neck can make me nauseous.
Long before I had migraines, I was distressed by the touch of certain fabrics on my skin and the weight of my hair.
Some people ask me if I have cancer because I wear my hair so short. No, it’s just migraines. And I love my barber.
The Powder Keg Effect
I might as well be sitting on a powder keg smoking a cigarette while I twirl a hand grenade with the other hand when I am migraining. Think of the odds of disaster.
I become explosively emotional, with absolutely no clue when or if it’s going to happen.
This isn’t a slow burn. If it was, I could tape my mouth shut before anything stupid came out.
I might cry when everybody else is laughing. I might scream when nothing is going on. I might go on a rant or get suddenly angry.
Of course, I feel horrible, and can’t apologize enough.
Sensitivities
Sensitivities can trigger migraines.
Even as a child, I was sensitive to light. I spent my summer allowance on tickets to the movies. Not that I loved movies. I didn’t love the sun.
With migraines, my light sensitivity is much worse. My doctor routinely checks my vitamin D3 in the spring, because she knows the light reflecting off the snow sends me into hiding. And walking to get a little D3 from the sun when there’s ice on the ground is cause for fractures, as I found out.
I’m also sensitive to loud sounds, smells, colors and patterns, movement, and objects too close together. Since we moved to a small town, these triggers don’t bother me as much.
However, this small town is close to the mountains, and the mountains impact the barometric pressure. Barometric pressure changes are a major trigger for me. I haven’t found any medication that can overcome the weather.
I can’t sleep when it’s about to rain or snow. I’ll wake up from a sound sleep, or I won’t be able to go to sleep until the weather starts. This is my migraine superpower. This superpower and $2.50 will buy me a cup of coffee.
The Big Chill
How often have I run to the thermostat to see if the heater went off or if the thermostat is broken? Way too many times. If I notice I’m getting cold, the infamous head pain could be a couple of hours away.
Despite it All
I’m incredibly stubborn. I refuse to let my daily migraines shut me into a room, lock the door, and throw away the key. I have family and friends and a writing community, all of them incredibly supportive, even when they don’t understand, and I thank them. I thank them all.
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