Nine Months Gone

Nine months is pregnant with loss, a big ball of emptiness lodged in my gut. My gut wants to disgorge you, regurgitate you, bring you back. Back to life. Life without you for nine months is waiting for a bus that will never arrive at the stop. Stop me, please, from missing you. Missing you will never bring you back to me. To me, age has nothing to do with being a child. A child, orphaned without my mother.

My mother

is nine months

gone. 

published in Medium